Assalamu ‘Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh...

    My story, like any other western story, involves a romance. A romance involving pre-marital: dating, kisses, hugs, hairstyles, cap-sleeved dresses and dancing. Did I mention I was a Muslim? Does it matter? I ask you these questions in relation to the known fact, that the majority of Muslim ‘teenagers’ and Muslims of the western world in general, has strayed from the basic and essential teachings of Islam.

    Firstly, I would like to say that Allah(swt) has blessed my husband and me. He has kept us chaste! He has protected us from the one sin which the western world has propagated and infected most unwed brothers and sisters in Islam. This sin is known as fornication or ‘pre-marital sex’. This law is clearly written in Al Qur’an, surah 24 verses 33, which quotes “And let those who do not find the means to marry, keep them chaste until Allah makes them free from want out of his grace.”

    Though such a sin is seen as one of the gravest, Prophet Muhammad (u.w.b.p) said in his last sermon “Beware of Satan, for the safety of your religion. He has lost all hope that he will ever be able to lead you astray in big things so beware of following him in small things.”

            We must now ask ourselves, as Muslims, what are these big sins of which our Prophet has spoken? These include placing partners with God (Shirk), fornication and the like. To the contrary, it is written in Al Qur’an, surah 4 verse 31, “If you shun the great sins which you are forbidden, We will do away with your small sins and cause you to enter an honourable place of entering.” Thus the contradiction! If God has promised us forgiveness of our small sins; such as kissing, holding hands and lustful gazes between unwed individuals, why then should we bother about the prophet telling us to beware of  Satan, leading us astray in the ‘small things’? Therein breeds the mentality of a westernized Muslim.

    Us westerners seek out the ‘loop-holes’ in religion. We search for phrases in the Qur’an which could be taken literally, metaphorically or even in different contexts and twist them to suit our own ‘socially–acceptable’ interpretations. This is where my story begins.

    Before I turned 18 years of age, I lived a western life. Yet as a Muslim, I had my basic morals; no pre-marital sex, no drinking, no smoking, no sleeveless or short tops and no short pants, or short skirts! Yet when I went to the beach these things were conveniently acceptable, except for the smoking, sex, drugs and alcohol of course! My husband and I met when I was about 15 years old and was officially a couple when I was 16 years of age. We did everything any other couple would do; we had parties at home, we danced in front of people, we kissed, we held hands and embraced one another. We dated!

     I was always under the impression that if I stayed away from the basic things such as alcohol and fornication, that I was a good Muslim. Like many Muslims, I believed that if I accepted “La illaha illaalah”, meaning that ‘There is no God but Allah’ that I would go to heaven. Also like many Muslims, I was wrong!

    Brothers and Sisters in Islam, be logical! If Islam was really meant to be that easy, where is the test of which Allah (swt) has continuously warned us? People say that Islam is a simple religion, and it is indeed simple if you seek out the proper teachings displayed by the Prophet Muhammad (u.w.b.p). Yet do you really think that it is that easy? Where is the Judgment? By such a definition, all Muslims would go to heaven wouldn’t they? If this is so, why is it that the Prophet (u.w.b.p) has foreseen a large number of Muslims in hell, with the majority being women? I guess calling themselves Muslims wasn’t enough was it? Yes, they were Muslims, but they were also hypocrites!

    My husband, in our ‘courtship years’, had told me about these truths of Islam. It was then that I started questioning my Iman. It was troubling for me and not easy to accept, but I started small! Instead of bathing suits I wore ¾ tights and jerseys to the beach. I also wore long sleeve and ¾ sleeve tops to go out. I tried to cover my body in the most ‘socially acceptable’ way possible. It was then that I performed all five prayers a day, everyday, and said “Ah! Now I am a good Muslim!” Such a change seems pretty positive doesn’t it? It was a pretty good bargain when attempting to enter paradise. What I didn’t realize was that the bargain was just beginning!

    Later on in my relationship, a few months before I turned 18, my husband and I were desperate to learn more about Islam. It all started when we attended an Islamic youth seminar, conducted by Brother Abdur Iaheem Green. This seminar, after our supposed ‘self improvement’, cause us to question our Iman to an even greater extent! It was as if God was guiding us; as if we were ‘supposed’ to attend that seminar.

*In short we were given five main pieces of information (things we were obligated as Muslims to abide by):-

1)      Courtship is forbidden in Islam (so much as a lustful gaze is seen as a form of fornication).

2)      Hijab (including Khimar) is compulsory in Islam.

3)      Dancing in public is forbidden.

4)      Anything that prints the figure of a woman’s body, or is transparent or revealing is forbidden in Islam!

5)      We must not reject the Hadith of our Prophet (u.w.b.p)

My husband and I (at that time) abided by none of these five compulsory acts!

    It became apparent that a balance between an Islamic and western lifestyle was almost, completely impossible. Thus we were forced to choose!

    Though it is indeed true, but not unfortunate, that women possess far more obligations in Islam than men, I consequently found it harder than my husband to accept these terms. I begged him not to push me, but he being the understanding person that he was, always knew in his heart that I would do the right thing on my own. According to one of my relatives who was in a similar situation, “He planted the seed! Now it was up to me to let it grow.”

    After extensive research into the matter, he kept presenting me with quotations in the Hadith (Bukhari) indicating that even a lustful gaze was a form of fornication. Along with this information, we had found in Al Qur’an, surah 24 verse 31, that the hijab is indeed compulsory in Islam. Everything was pointing in that direction. This Surah quotes, “And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments, except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head coverings over their bosoms, and do not display their ornaments except to their husbands, or their fathers…etc.”

    All of the prophet’s wives wore the Khimar (head coverings) and the entire Hijab (physical appearance, mentality, manner and attitude of a Muslim woman). Does this not say something? It sure did tell me something!

    After praying Witir for the first time; where I asked Allah (swt) to guide me, I had awoken to pray Fajr the following morning. It was amazing! Suddenly everything had come together in my mind and wearing the hijab did not seem like seem like such a hard thing to do anymore. How could I go from being almost entirely westernized, to having a strong and almost unaffected Iman? This was truly the work of the Almighty!

    When I told my husband (my boyfriend at that time), he was delighted! He took me shopping for khimars (head coverings), loose and decent clothes and generally an entirely modest and new identity. I was thrilled! I couldn’t wait to start wearing it. My behaviour was completely surprising to me! One of our biggest problems were over, or at least so we thought…Yes, we were indeed paying more attention to the Hadith and Al Qur’an (both of which we will be equally blessed for insha-allah), but what about our ‘courtship’? Were we allowed to be together (the way we were) outside of marriage?

    As mentioned, courtship (intimacy outside marriage) is forbidden in Islam! A lustful gaze, or even touching the palm of a strange woman (one to whom you are not related, or can marry) is seen as fornication. Though it may be minor fornication, it is still fornication and this is prohibited in Islam!

    My husband, along with his knowledge of the Qur’an and Hadith on the topic, had consulted Imams and other islamically educated individuals on the topic of Nikka (marriage). They all lead to the conclusion, that when two individuals (male and female) have intentions of marrying, they must first remain chaste, refrain from physical contact and lower their gaze until they go through the process of Nikka.

    After extensive debate (not aggressive argument) with my mother, she told me to consult my father. I cried as I told him, “We found it in the Hadith, the Qur’an, every Imam, every scholar, everywhere we looked, had told us that this is the way it was suppose to be in Islam.” That was it! By the grace of the almighty Allah (swt) my parents had just suddenly understood. They were not disappointed, scared or unwilling. I promised that I would finish my education and that until we were financially stable that nothing in our relationship would change. We are to remain under the care of our respective parents, until we are able to support ourselves. This was the agreement and the present relationship between my husband and I is stronger than ever.

*We are now the Muslims we had aspired to be:-

1)      We are married, which now justifies our relationship in the eyes of Allah (swt).

2)      Also, we dress as Muslims to show how proud we are of our religion.

3)      We no longer dance in public to protect the modesty projected by our religion.

4)      I now cover my body, except for my hands, face and feet. By doing this I save myself for my husband and direct family alone. My body is now protected from the lustful gazes of men and I am no longer oppressed by the ‘necessary’ adoption of fashion trends

    I, a sister in Islam, am proud to be a Muslim. It is indeed the most liberating, beautiful and authentic religion in the world! I pray that my story will encourage youths to follows a similar path. This is a path to paradise…a path which Allah (swt) has delivered to us through his last and final messenger, Prophet Muhammad (u.w.b.p).

    Brothers and Sisters in Islam, it is believed that the final day is near. Us youths are responsible for the future generations of Muslims. Our children (insha-allah) may be the ones who fight the last battle! Let Islam go out in the authentic way it came in. Let us ensure that our children are even better Muslims than we are. Let our children learn from our example. Let us strengthen our Iman so to fight the oppression of western materialism and the peer pressure placed on us, by polytheists and other Non-Muslim groups.

Help save Islam, for it is us youths who are responsible for its future!