Do Women Have To Marry The Person Their Parents Have Chosen For them?

*No, parents must have the consent of their daughter before they even attempt to get her married.

The appropriate steps for this process are as follows:-

The first step is the most important step when in search of a husband or wife. This is where the individual makes du’a for Allah to help them find the right person.

The second step is where the friends, or preferably the family enquires about the background, personality and piety of possible candidates. Do not confuse this with an ‘arranged marriage’(which is forbidden in Islam). Unlike arranged marriages, the couple must both give consent to the meeting and if they wish to get married.

It was related by Umar that the Prophet (Peace be Upon Him) had said ,“Not one of you should meet a woman alone, unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram),” (Bukhari/Muslim).

Therefore if the couple do indeed decide to meet, they must meet in groups or under a chaperoned setting. This is a safe approach, for it helps prevent “Temptation” toward wrongdoing. Having a third party present makes the setting less intimate.

When the family has obtained enough information on the individual, and find him or her satisfactory (in terms of goodness), they must now consult the daughter/son and obtain their input on the matter. The couple must now pray salat-l-istikhara (prayer for guidance) to seek Allah’s help in making a decision. If after a reasonable amount of chaperoned meetings, the couple agrees to pursue the marriage then Alhamdu Lillah! But if they find themselves incompatible and agree otherwise, the choice is still theirs.

"No Muslim, neither female nor male, can be forced into a marriage they have not given consent to."